2015/10/01

H4 Visa and the positive thinking attitude

I had no idea about USA visas until my husband got the job offer for California.
My guess before that would have been that if he was given a working permit, his family (spouse and children) would been given one too... well, I guessed wrong
There is one specific type of visa, the H1B Visa that is given to some skilled workers, the ones that fall into the category of STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics), that doesn't allow immediate family members to have a job in the US. Not a job, not a social security number, not a bank account under your own name...it just allows the spouse to be here, but practically nothing else.

To have an H4 visa means basically to be in a long vacation while living in the US until the company where your spouse works decides to apply for his/her green card. The green card process can take about 1 year and a half for European people and many more years for Asian people (I've heard that it can take up to 10 years for them).


What has meant to me being in H4 Visa for 2 years? 

It's had its positive side and also its negative, but mainly it's been positive. For me. Because I needed a break from a job I had had for 9 years and I wasn't so happy about anymore, I needed time to spend with my 2 year old daughter and I needed time to figure out what to do with my life (I am still figuring it out).
Its negative side, was learning how to be comfortable with the situation of not having a job. I realized how much your job defines you. Every time somebody asks you what do you do, you think about your job, and for the first time in my life I didn't know how to answer this question, I felt embarrassed for doing "nothing", and I found myself comparing to people with jobs and feeling I was less than them for not having one. I guessed I was not prepared to be jobless, and it took me time to get comfortable with the situation and find my place here.

What things can you do on a H4 Visa?
  • If you have kids, you can use this situation to spend more time with them. Little kids won't be either little nor kids forever, and I feel very grateful for being able to be there for my daughter now that she needs/wants me the most.
  • You can join the H4 Visa Holders Support group I mentioned in my last post and meet amazing people who will make you feel valued.   
  • You can do volunteer work: On this website http://www.volunteermatch.org you can find amazing opportunities to volunteer and feel useful to your community. The experience you gain volunteering counts toward your global working experience and will be very useful when you can go back to work as you'll have some working experience in the US and valuable references.
  • You can study. Maybe you can study something new to redirection your career or something related to your profession that will give you the skills you need to practice here in the future. Whatever you decide, studying and learning things will never be wasted time. 
  • You can do all the things you dreamt you'd do if you didn't work. I remember when I was working I always thought "if I ever don't have to work I would......" Whatever you fill this sentence with, you can do while on H4: reading, learning how to dance, how to sew, throw yourself on the couch and watch movies... whatever. When you finally get back to work you will probably miss all the free time you had when you were on H4. 
My advice, try not to feel miserable, the situation it's what it is, and you need to make the most out of it.

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